I know, I know, I have been away for a while and have not been consistent with my blogging as promised. But I really had to reset. I’ll go in detail another day. I may just do an audio or another blog post explaining everything for the New Year. For now let’s get into this blog.
Let’s get real for a minute!
why is it so hard to put ourselves first? Like, we can show up for everyone else, but the moment we try to pour into our own cup, the guilt creeps in. If you’ve ever felt like taking care of yourself was selfish or unnecessary, sis, trust me, you’re not alone.
For the longest time, I struggled with this too. I’d push myself to the edge, running on empty, because I thought being “strong” meant putting everyone else ahead of me. But let me tell you, living like that will have you burnt out, resentful, and wondering why nobody else is stepping up. Spoiler alert: it’s because you never gave them the chance!
Where Does the Guilt Come From?
For me, the guilt came from feeling like I wasn’t enough unless I was doing something for someone else. Society glorifies the “hustle” and “grind” so much that we think rest is a weakness. Add being a mom, a partner, and someone who’s chasing her dreams? Whew, the pressure is real.
But here’s the truth: prioritizing yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you smart. How can you be the best version of yourself for others if you’re constantly running on E?
What Helped Me Overcome the Guilt
1. Reframing My Mindset
I had to start seeing self-care as maintenance, not indulgence. Just like you wouldn’t drive a car without gas or oil, you can’t keep going without refueling your mind, body, and soul.
2. Setting Boundaries (Without Apologies)
I’ll admit, saying “no” didn’t come naturally to me. I felt bad at first, but over time, I realized it’s not my job to carry everyone else’s load. Saying no to them often meant saying yes to me and that’s a win.
3. Giving Myself Grace
Sometimes, I still feel a little guilty, and that’s okay. I remind myself that I’m not perfect, and self-care is a practice, not a one-time thing. Grace is key.
Ways to Prioritize Yourself Without the Guilt
• Start Small: Even 10 minutes of peace can be a game-changer. Meditate, journal, or sip your tea without distractions.
• Create a Ritual: Whether it’s a skincare routine, a daily walk, or a solo coffee date, find something that feels good and make it yours.
• Remind Yourself of the Why: You’re not just doing this for you. A refreshed, recharged you is a better mom, partner, friend, boss babe.
Letting Go of the Shame
I used to feel like I had to explain why I needed time for myself, but not anymore. I’ve learned that I don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of me. The shame only has power if you give it permission to stay. Let it go.
So, if you’re sitting here wondering whether it’s okay to take time for yourself, let this be your sign: YES, girl, it is. The world won’t fall apart because you decided to step back and breathe. You’re not just allowed to prioritize yourself you deserve it.
What’s one thing you’re going to do for yourself this week? Let me know in the comments, because I want to cheer you on!
Until next time, remember: self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary 🤎.
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